Is God a woman?

I haven't posted in a while. Looks like I'm on a one blog per month rate. Oh well. In the past month, I have made the long trek to school for my 5th semester, started classes, and overcommitted myself to various organizations and events (as always). Last week, there was a day where I was booked solid with class and events from waking up to going to sleep. I was not feeling well. It was one of those, "let me count the hours and minutes until I'm done with today" days. I wasn't looking for inspiration or learning - I just needed to finish the day. That's when I embarked with my class on what you may call a field trip. We loaded into cars, drove into a part of my city I've never been to, and we joined the group forming there in a random lot for a vigil.

In July, a young woman, close to my age, was shot and killed there. I didn't know her ,and I still can't tell you much about her or the accident. But I can tell you that I saw God move in a community at that vigil when I was unprepared for it. Her family members and friends joined the group of locals like us. There was a short message about how even in pain, we can know that the Lord loves us. There was singing, crying, and praying. A time came for anyone to share about the young girl. A few friends and family members said a few things. Then, when her aunt tried to speak, she broke down in tears. I had this urge to run over and hug her, but I was stopped by this sense that it wasn't appropriate, that I shouldn't invade into her private matter. Then, suddenly, a older woman crossed the circle, and wrapped her arms around the crying aunt. We were then told that she had also lost two children to violence. I knew then that she was the only one who had the right to hug her and say, "I know how you feel."

I'm reading this book right now called The Shack. Every person I talk to has a different opinion on it. I've heard people say that it's amazing, a good read, heretical, challenging, awful, and a trend for certain kinds of Christians. All I know is that it is making me think about God and the nature of the trinity again. It's challenging me to answer tough questions in myself about why there is pain in the world. Really how could a loving God let this pain happen? Personally, I have come to terms with that question. C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain was helpful, but I still have a difficult time explaining why I'm ok with it to someone who doesn't read the latest theology, someone who is in the midst of pain. In the novel, God is portrayed as an older, black woman whose name is "papa." At the vigil, when the bold woman crossed to circle, I saw God in her. It was a connection of images, but it was also very real and moving.

I had just an hour before spent my social entrepreneurship class dreaming about my business plan to create an NGO to "help" my city, but really, in that moment at the vigil, the people helped me. I saw what God was really all about - stepping across the circle, across the boundary of personal space, across what is comfortable for us, to hold us so dearly and just let us cry. No words necessary.